Embracing All of Who You Are
June 2005, Volume I, Issue 6 – Embracing All of Who You Are
by Lisa Guyman
Life can be such a vibrant tapestry of highs and lows. I’ve had some highs lately, like being interviewed on the topic of meditation for a 30 minute TV show — an exciting and affirming experience for me.
And I’ve had some lows lately, too. Things just aren’t always the way we’d like them to be. That is what I experienced acutely last week. I met a friend for dinner after crying half the day and she remarked on how great I looked. I did feel strangely refreshed and alive because I’d been allowing myself to process recent happenings in an organic way. I wasn’t trying to force a happy face or rationalize my feelings away. I was just being present with all that was showing up.
If we allow ourselves to be with and process our emotions (without getting stuck in them) we find our way back to our center in a natural and beautiful way. Sometimes the best support we can give ourselves (and others) is to just be there, be present, be compassionate. We don’t have to fix ourselves (or them) or force a happy mood; we can just allow ourselves to be.
At the same time, we do need to notice the stories we are telling ourselves about what is happening. We often project into the future (imagining the loss of someone we love, not ever having a job we love, always being alone, being unable to pay our bills, etc.) and in this we create fear and pain in the present.
However, when we change our vantage point (even a little, helps) things can begin to shift in a natural way. I remarked to my friend Lisa that “managing the direction of our attention is a daily process” and she remarked that “it’s a minute-by-minute process.” And she is right! Sometimes we’ll still travel to the bottom rung of emotion and that is O.K., but at other times we can stop ourselves from unnecessary emotional distress by reframing what is happening.
And, yes what I’m saying appears to be contradictory but this is what makes us divinely human – the ability to be emotionally rich (authentic, natural, real) and intentional (consciously creating our lives through our focus, attention and awareness). We are both wounded (it’s part of the human journey) and completely connected (spiritual beings that are complete and whole -already). As you go forth, I encourage you to allow yourself to be human and to also allow yourself to be the powerful, spiritual being that you are!
Shifting Your Vantage Point
So much of our pain is found in either remembering a painful event or projecting an unwanted future. When you notice yourself replaying something that is painful to you or imagining a future you don’t desire – tell yourself to “stop!” Then, take a breath and turn your attention to the present moment (and tell yourself – this i.e. whatever you are recollecting or projecting . . . is not happening right now).
Then, begin to think about or talk about what you are looking forward to (going on a trip, seeing a friend, a concert, helping someone out, etc.), what you might want to create (a book, a song, a piece of art, a garden), or whatever it might be that gets you excited and makes you sparkle. You’ll notice that your energy will rise and when your mind wanders back to what was bothering you before it won’t hold as much weight.
Is it Time for a Change?
If you’d like to see how life coaching, meditation or Reiki can support you on your journey, contact me.
Quote of the Month:
LOVE after LOVE: “The time will come, when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror. And each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say: Sit here, Eat. Relax. You will love again this stranger who is your Self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart, itself, this stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, but who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs and the desperate notes. Peel your self-image from the mirror. Sit. Here. Now. Feast on your life. Fall in love again with your Self and with all of life.” Derek Walcott, 1996 Nobel Prize winner.