A Personal Update – Mom, Caregiving & Life
December 21, 2016 by Lisa Guyman
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In June 2016, my Mom started having more medical visits: ER visits, doctor visits and tests.Two months later a doctor somberly told us that she had terminal stage 4 cancer and that treatment wasn’t an option. It’s been a roller coaster and at other times quite ordinary.We are in good spirits overall.
My Mom, 88 years young, greatly appreciates her life and family and approaches death with wide eyes and says well that’s the big JOURNEY. She still feels good and is enjoying her morning coffee as much as ever, dining in (and out). And she receives weekly support visits from hospice.
A year prior, August 2015, she moved into Independent Living and we had the enormous project of getting her moved and of getting her massively adorned home ready for the market. What helped me navigate that process in a somewhat sane manner was Selective Attention and Zooming into the Moment. This is a great way to reorient in TIMES OF STRESS. (If you haven’t read that article you may find it very helpful – Zooming into the Moment and Selective Attention).
Following this I decided to make a big move. In January 2016 I readied myself to uproot from Colorado to Michigan after 19 years of living in Denver.I embarked on The Ultimate Decluttering Process and let go of most of my belongings. In February I landed at my new AirBnB apartment, exhausted and excited. I got settled in, taught Reiki and meditation workshops through May and looked forward to extensive personal realignment and rejuvenation.
Instead, what followed along with my Mom’s increasing needs was early notice from my tenants in Denver and the need to get my house on the market. I coordinated renovations on my house in about eight weeks (two trips). Another intensive time though I reaped the reward of selling in 4 days for cash with the help of my friend/agent, Leslie!
Back to Mom. Since August (as a very small family) we’ve been alternating and covering her 24/7.There is a lot of love there. I’ve been personally “on” 70-80 hrs a week (which is a lot).
Life sends us signals and sends us angels. I met Sophia (a caregiver/angel) last year (in the lobby). She has been helping out (in addition to my brother and my nieces with Paige, age 20, being the other primary caregiver). Recognizing my recent burn out (signaled in a number of ways) Sophia is going to take 10-15 hours off my plate. I already feel better.
It’s been a rigorous 15 months to say the least, yet I’ve received incredible support from family and friends and the Universe along the way.
It’s December now and as a family we are grateful Mom is still doing well. Hopefully she will celebrate Christmas and ring in the New Year with us.
Wishing you the best of this season. Merry Christmas!
With lots of love,
Lisaa